What did I accomplish in 2015?

I wrote very little in 2015.

This is in large part because of how 2014 ended, and how 2015 began.  I don't want to rehash, as I don't want people caring about me just because they're feeling sympathetic, but here we go in a nutshell:

My mother went into a nursing home last November, and I was almost too busy working on a manuscript to realize how big a moment that was.  Then she died in March, and I've been working my way toward finding it acceptable to write again ever since.

I've put so much pressure on myself to find some measure of success as a writer, so much emphasis on finding someone to help me make it a paying career, that it's really become something of a mania in my life.  But the truth is, some things really are more important.  Life itself, for instance.

Slowly, I started working on projects again.  Lately I've been reconsidering my potential future in comics (which has been a potential future for about a decade now).  Just before Christmas I found out I'd lost another contest.  I let it bother me until finally, I accepted the idea of perspective again. 

If it's not going to happen, fine.

What's bothered me so much about the writers blogging community is that everyone seems to think success is out there right here and now, and they support each other so blindly they never even stop for a second to think that it really isn't, and if it isn't that it's not the end of the world. 

But in July, I met someone new.  Brand new.  My sister's bouncing new daughter.  Between her birth and my mother's death, my life has been on a completely different roller coaster these past few years.  I returned home to Maine to help my mother, and it became a full witness to the end of her life.  Now I'm living in Virginia, helping my sister raise her daughter.  Three years ago, I would never have imagined any of that.  Three years ago, and two years ago, and a year ago, I still thought of my life in one way.  Now, it's become something else.

Some people shudder at the phrase, "art for art's sake."  And my pursuit of it has made my journey incredibly difficult over the years.  Now it means something else, too.  See you next week to discuss that.

Barbarian Translation - The Trojan War release

Mouldwarp Press Presents #3 Barbarian Translation - The Trojan War has now been released. 

To give you a refresher course on it, this is, as the title suggests, the third volume in my Mouldwarp Press Presents anthology series, and yes, it features variations on the classic tale of the Trojan War.  Featured is my WriteClubCo colleague Christy Wiabel, who also had a story in the first volume, Project Mayhem, and a new story from me.

I'm particularly excited to present this story, because I love the Trojan War (clearly), and I've been wanting to tell a version of the Troilus & Cressida romance for years.  Plus, I recently came up with a shiny new storytelling device, the character of Miss Simon, who will probably be the narrator for a number of novels I will be writing in the future.  This was her pilot episode, so to speak, her secret origin.

My third anthology is being processed...

The third Mouldwarp Press Presents anthology has been submitted to CreateSpace and will be available shortly.  After the relative flood of submissions to the first volume, I haven't had nearly as much luck with subsequent ones.  This will be the second consecutive one to feature two stories, with one of them being mine.  The good news is that both of them featured return contributors from the first volume, and Barbarian Translation - The Trojan War will feature a story from one of my good friends from WriteClubCo, Christy Wiabel, one of those genuinely good people that're so hard to find. 

MPP exists at all because I wanted to make good with my own past experiences with anthology startups.  If there's another volume, I'll attempt to finally publish stories meant for the aborted effort that was the direct genesis for this venture.  If that doesn't happen, I'm more than happy with the results I've had.  Mouldwarp Press is a fake publishing company.  On the surface, it operates much the way indy publishers tend to, existing as a vehicle for the originating writer's own work, plus anthologies that feature more of their work, and a few of their friends as well (and assorted stragglers gullible enough to sign up for such schemes).  (That's been my experience, anyway.)  The truth is, "Mouldwarp Press" is a label I've been slapping on books I publish via CreateSpace and Kindle, and the Mouldwarp Press Presents anthologies have been of the same kind.

I don't know if I originally believed that they might become something more, but the fact is they didn't.  I'm truly sorry if anyone got involved with them believing otherwise.  Being a writer is not an easy calling.  And it is a calling.  The journey is the best part, the process of writing itself.  The destination?  More than in any other activity you might pursue, the destination is an open question all the way to the end.  Because, there is no end.  The history of storytelling is replete with examples.

Somewhere along the course of my journey, I ended up blogging in a community that didn't always seem to share my goals.  My passion?  Sure.  But the expectations were something else.  This post is not an admission of defeat, concession, or apology (except for the one above).  It's an acknowledgment, without judgment (hey, sometimes even I can get around to that), that sometimes all things aren't equal because they aren't.

What this is saying is that for once, I will say something here and feel comfortable knowing that it might be the last thing someone reads about my journey.  I'm switching gears.  I've always got projects in the pipeline, things I want to accomplish, but this is an end to what can sometimes feel like a competition.  I didn't come here, I didn't start this, to convince you to like me.  If you're reading this at all, thank you.

There's always more...