A Journal of the Pandemic #16

It’s been a little while since I last wrote. Sort of in an indeterminate period here in Florida. Don’t want to rehash things I’ve already said. I think the early pandemic was botched, and because of that it’s more difficult to get things done. So the numbers are bad here and last week I had a ridiculously long conversation with my trainer at work, which  for me because of how ridiculously long it was I expressed my frustrations at how things have been handled.

Well, anyway, as I’ve said, my daycare center has three buildings. I worked at one for about the first two years of my employment here, and spent a few months working at another, some of it sort of lended out because I was actually transferred to the other one. This week I’ve been working at my new assignment, and they’ve sort of been seeing what I’m made of. Honestly, I’m writing a post today because as of today, I think I’m starting to really like it here, and I feel like I’m being noticed, and although I’m not an overly egocentric individual, it’s nice to feel acknowledged every now and then. 

And anyway, the week also finally saw the delivery of some stuff I ordered nearly a month ago. The whole process took a lot longer than this vendor has typically taken in the past, so that was another thing that’s been bugging me. I wanted to write about these frustrations before. I wanted to talk about the way my dad’s been handling the pandemic, but I guess I wasn’t feeling very motivated.

Concerning my dad, he’s taken a sharp turn toward outright dismissing the pandemic. He’s older, but the big problem (aside from the fact that he’s even saying, now, if he catches it and dies, then that’s just what happens to happen) is that so much of his life depended on his socializing that from an early point I noticed it was affecting his cognitive abilities. My two brothers haven’t helped in all this. The one who lives in Maine won’t let him visit (lots of people have gotten around this with even “car visits,” where they stay in the car, things like that), and the one in Colorado early on took the severe reaction that wasn’t needed for the whole country and only spoiled the ability to be strategic about it when and where and as necessary. And of course everyone my dad interacts with affirms his thought process, as is true for most people, regardless of their conclusions, and so the more he’s settled back into his routines, the more his reaction has been affirmed.

I wish this weren’t the case. I call him every week, and it’s sometimes hard, because I want him to know where we agree as well as where we diverge, and like a lot of people he’s just not interested in going far past his conclusions. It’s not like I’m advocating extreme thoughts contrary to his. I just want to talk with him. I just want to know he’s okay. 

Anyway, I finished up my latest writing project a few weeks ago, and I haven’t really gotten into another one yet. I poked around. I opened a lot of files. I could start something new, or work on old things. But this pandemic is starting to feel, well, interminable. For so much of it I immersed myself in projects, one after the other, when I wasn’t working, even when I went back. Hopefully as things begin to settle again, and hopefully happily, I’ll feel motivated again. 

I binged all six seasons of Lost recently! A lot of fans grew disenchanted along the way, mostly because they were disappointed with how the mysteries were being answered (which is why binge TV now has short seasons and few seasons), but I never lost (heh) interest. I think this might have been the first time I revisited the last few seasons! It remains the absolute pinnacle TV experience for me.